The Experience of a Victim

My bag was snatched a week ago.
Inside were loose change, lip gloss, my contacts' lubricant, and my cellphone.
All I could think of was "Holy Shit! I don't have a list of the phone numbers!!!"
Funny, I know, and not the typical reaction you'll expect from someone who's valuables were snatched right under her nose.
But at the back of my head, I remember that I was actually thinking for some time to change my phone number and get me a new phone.
The only reason why I never had done it was 1) my number has been with me since college and 2) I already have a phone, no matter how simple it was.

I really didn't feel that huge gaping hole when you lose your possessions.
I thought about it further and I realized, I didn't lose the MORE important stuff. My IDs, credit cards, payroll ATM card, recepits, and wallet (yes, the wallet is very important).
Well, yeah, the cellphone is important, but I figured, getting a new number is a symbol of me putting there the really important people in my life. My family, close friends, and office mates. Most of the numbers on my old number weren't really contacting me and I have no reason to contact them.

So am fine and I hope those bastards who took my bag love blood red lip gloss.

Living life to the fullest - FAILED

I just finished chatting with my friend about our Singapore trip. Turns out, the travel agent suggested that we go to Bangkok for the Sky Lantern Festival. With all due respect, I LOVE that event. The first time I watched it featured in Nat Geo, I knew it's one of the events I want to experience.

BUT .... if I choose to be wise, I'll opt not to go. Both for the SG trip and the Bangkok trip. I initially offered just to meet them at Thailand since I know it's going to be cheaper, but if I choose to see the bigger picture, it will be better for me not to go at all.

This is actually the reason why I want to clear out my credit card bill and hurry up with my savings. I admit that I have loved having my own money too much that I messed up with my savings - big time. It only got worse when my credit card came along. It seems like I drain my money away the week I get my salary so by the second week, I'm penniless again. Hence, I end up taking some money off my savings just so I can get by.

It's sick really. I'm sure I don't have a good record with my previous bank. I withdraw more than I save. I don't like listing down my expenses because, come on, do people really want to know how sick they are? This supposed SG trip with my friends helped me realize how worse I've become. I literally have no money to show off. I am your typical no-good girl! I have all this crap but I'm technically penniless! I like to eat in fancy restaurants, I buy all these nice shoes and bags, I drink Starbucks almost everyday .... but I'm basically poor! I have NOTHING to call my own! I fancy a car but I don't have the money to pay even for a lousy second-hand. If my mom decides to kick me out, I have NOWHERE TO GO. I can't pay for a nice apartment.

Talking about living my life to the fullest.

My friend offered to loan me money. Not a wise suggestion really. He loans me the money, and then am back to having debts again. The bigger picture? I spend money for the trip ... but then I come back home broke. Not really a pretty picture. Van Gogh's The Scream looks a lot hell nicer than my life right now. I actually know what I need to do. But hell - I just can't find any enthusiasm to DO what I need to do. I'm so tired of thinking of my bills and yet I have no money by the end of the day.

Cest La vie my darlings?

Damages - Credit saga break

I caved in. After a month of not using my card, I caved in.
It's a really bad withdrawal. 2 new pair of shoes, a set of undies (yes, I have to tell the world that), and a new bag. I nearly bought another bag actually. And another pair of shoes. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I have to save money for my Singapore trip with my friends this November. While the cashiers were swiping my card I was doing mental calculations in my head. I need to save money for my pocket money, plus the cheapest package my friend got was $424 (4 days 3 night with airfare and accomodations)
I was thinking I needed a hat, a new swim suit, 2 pairs of shorts, and a whole new outfit. Yeah ... I was having an issue a while ago.
I am happy though. The shoes I got are really nice. And the bag is what I call a grown-up girl's bag. hehehe
I'm just making excuses here so just throw me a bone will you?

Bye Bye Credit Card

Here is proof that it's finally gone... (evil laugh) hahahaha
Here's before ....
I can't find my pair of scissors, so I used a small garden shears.
And here it is!!! wahahaha!!!!
I am a step closer to success!!! Hoorah! Hoorah!

1-742173563 (Credit Card bye bye)

I have 2 credit cards and I am proud to say I have cancelled one. WOOHOO!
It's enough that I'm worrying about one credit card. But 2 of them is a killer. I don't know what I was thinking when I applied for the second one.

I was still a little bit addicted to the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic that I thought having 2 credit cards was cool. I keep on forgetting that Isla Fisher's character nearly ruined her life because of her 12 credit cards and her larger-than-life debts.

So ... HOORAY TO ME!!!
Common sense finally prevailed!

Realization - The Dumper chooses the real thing

I am not a fan of designer clothes, I already said that. But I do value durability - for my money's worth. I have been fooled before of cheap wallets and bags that are pretty on the outside but are f**cked up inside. The last straw was last year, when I bought this really cheap Chanel imitation of a wallet. It was love at first sight. And it was just 120 bucks. A winner when I first thought of it. So I bought the "winner" and proudly showed it to my officemates.

It was so fake I was only able to use it for a month and a half. The insides weren't stitched - they were glued together. Unfortunately, I use my wallet like a tiny trash bag. Paper money, LOTS of coins, LOTS of receipts, calling cards. That wallet BULGED just because of the coins alone. As a result, the glue couldn't take it and gave way. There goes my 120 pesos.

From there, I bought my Marks and Spencer wallet. It's PERFECT. It balloons when I just dump lots of paper and coins in it without damage. It may not be as pretty and colorful as the cheap Chanel wallet, but Marks and Spencer gave me my money's worth.

I still buy fake bags - which I really should stop. I have a bag here I bought from my officemate which I'm afraid to use now because the skin is peeling off and the handle is slowly detaching itself from the bag (I tend to dump things in my bag - I'm a Dumper).

I still don't want to buy the stupidly expensive bags like Prada or LV, but I consider Nine West and Lacoste as my ultimate bags (IF EVER I buy one). Right now, am happy with my small Mango and Secosana bags. Believe it or not, Secosana makes really sturdy bags. They're not exactly cheap , but they're no cheap bags nonetheless.

After 4 years

Following up on my Facebook post:

I will FINALLY see my college friend after 4 years! Geez! Keeping touch with friends is a REAL job! It's sad to lose the people you consider friends after you part ways or you just simply lose the connection you once had, but it's a precious moment when you realize you kept the best ones. :)


Look, am no hypocrite. If someone stops making efforts on making our relationship work, I can easily scratch them off my list of people I care for. I don't like wasting energy on jerks who clearly don't want to include me in their life. I may not be on their top list, but I should be in a list of something IMPORTANT.

Friends don't treat friends like rags. I HATE it when they don't talk to you anymore and expect you will understand. I'm not psychic and I most certainly don't have plans to be one. If a friendship has to end, then it ends. Period. I don't care if we've been friends for years. You do me wrong by disregarding me, then we're over. No turning back. I can be civil, but don't expect sweet words from me. Thank you for the memories, but that's just it, M-E-M-O-R-I-E-S.

On a lighter note, I finally met my college friend whom I haven't seen since we graduated. CJ and her hubby Wilson are such a cute couple! Their baby, Rain, is an adorable sweetheart. I can tell she'll be a handful when she grows up. Too bad though Grace forgot to bring her camera that day. I don't have pictures to show here but we will have a get-together again next week so I should have pictures to post here by then.

Mess with yourself and your friends will help you pick yourself up. Mess with your friends, you're screwed for life.

Without My Credit Card

July 6

Yey! I wasn't able to buy ANYTHING! Well, except for an eye contact solution but I need that. No new shoes, no new bag! To think that there was a mall sale. Whew!

What I did though was pampering myself to a perm, magenta highlight, manicure, pedicure and foot spa. :)

*sigh* The last time I pampered myself was ... ages ago. So I thought, I need this. I really do. My nails look like they've been scratching against trees and my feet just needed the loving.

I did a little calculation in my head. My mom's birthday is on August 14, a saturday. I decided to surprise her with a small meal and a few of her close friends and relatives. It's sad to admit that we, her kids, rarely surprise her. So I thought if I can save enough money, I'll have enough money to buy a cake, ingredients for my spaghetti, and maybe one viand. I'm not sure what that would be. An ice cream is an option but not really a priority. Maybe I'll just let my sister add her own ideas. I already have invited 2 people (a highschool batchmate of my brother's and a family friend). I'm yet to invite her cousin's family. That's all I'm planning to invite.

All of these preparations - without using my credit card. Ugh.

Good luck to me.

Without My Credit Card

July 1

Because of the stress I've been experiencing, I think I deserve something nice. :)
Work was brutal the moment I sat down on my chair. Non-stop calls. One email after the other. Order expedites. Follow-ups. Delayed stock. Ugh. Just the thought of them makes my head ache.
But since my credit card isn't with me, that nice something must not worth more than 1K. 500 pesos is better. But knowing me ... sigh. BUT NO! I MUST BE FRUGAL! I MUST LOVE THE FLEA MARKET. I MUST BE VIGILANT! I MUST ... Oh hell.
So I decided that instead of a pair of shoes or bag, maybe just a cute dress, or nice accessories will be fine. I'll add on there a glass jar because the one that we have here at home is practically useless not that I broke the cap. Candies + a unprotected glass = not a good combination.
Well, let's see what I'll come up with. :)

Without my Credit Card

June 29

So far so good. Am not looking for my little plastic friend again. I just need to be stronger though. My office is behind Megamall and we all know Shangri-La and Galleria aren't far behind. All those malls and those stores! Ugh

Anyway, it's a good thing that I got that promotion. More money means more allocation. :)
I need to close out my current ATM savings account and open a passbook account. It would be more difficult for me to withdraw money but for now that's a good thing.

I already paid my team mate for the pair of shoes I bought from his wife and I completed paying another officemate for the shoes I bought (which I gave my sister). Do you see a pattern? hehehe

The paluwagan I had with my team is over and it has a traumatic ending. 1 member failed to complete her payment before going to Dubai and another one resigned before she can pay her share. The latter is more mature but the former is .... better not comment anymore.

The marketing team has their own version of the paluwagan but this one has interest and payout is after a year. That sounds awesome. More vigilance is needed for this one.

Money is a very sensitive issue. It took me 25 years to realize that. Great.

Without My Credit Card Saga - Day 3

June 27.

Ok, this isn't good. All that I know I can buy with my credit card are flashing in my head. The new Charles and Keith shoes, the shoes in Multiply, the Secosana bag, the beautiful necklace I saw in SM Dept store. Ugh. It's terrible. I think I'm already having a withdrawal.

But right now, I wanna buy my food and open a new account in another bank. I'm thinking of applying for a passbook this time instead of an ATM savings account. But I'm torn. A passbook requires a very high amount of starting balance and it's not going to be easy to withdraw in times I need it. On the other hand, an ATM account is TOO EASY for withdrawal. I'm just a financial mess.

Without My Credit Card Saga

In an effort to put a stop, or at least slow down, my uncontrollable shopping, I gave my (sob) credit card to my trusted friend to keep for a while. I need to get serious with paying my bill and saving if I want to go to Singapore next year.
With the recent debacle I had with my savings bank this morning, I had the kick I needed to do what I need to do. It's a pain and a heartache but the timing can't be more perfect. I'm just thinking, I was able to save before with no problems at all - so maybe, just maybe, I can do it again.

Day 1
I didn't even miss my little plastic friend. Well, maybe I did but I wasn't itching for it. Good start. Good start.

Day 2
Not much change - although I did visit the Charles and Keith website and a multiply contact's website and I was just itching to buy at least 2 new pairs of shoes. But no! I must be strong! I still have bills to pay and if I will buy those shoes, I have to buy them the hard way - pay cash. Ugh ... *sigh*

Updates to come ...

Shoe Confessions 1

I believe that there are 3 things women must NOT leave their house without - their wits, their lipstick, and their perfect pair of shoes.

I was never really a fashionista. Whenever I hear that word, fashionista, I always think of Dior, Versace, Prada - you know, the high end clothes and accessories. A person has to have at least 3 of these names clinging to their bodies and wear them with all the glamor they have in their souls before I can call them the "F" word. But don't get me wrong, I am not one of those girls who go gaga over these names. I actually do not see the reason behind buying a $900-pair of shoes when I can buy it for $45 in another brand. True, it may not be as glitsy, but they're still as classy and pretty.

Recently, I came to realize that my love for shoes has come to a nasty pinnacle in my life. I JUST LOVE SHOES. When I was in highschool, it was accesories. In college, bags (you wouldn't believe how many bags I owned). Then my craving for anything sparkling sizzled for about 4 years. Then it slowly emerged itself. It started from a 400-peso pair to buying P2,500. It wasn't bad, I deserved something nice. But the total number of my shoes staggered me. I am no Carrie Bradshaw, but it looks like I'm planning to be one.

I keep the shoes in their boxes. I feel like it's giving the brand respect if I keep the boxes. No biggie. But now when I look at the number of boxes I have and can't remember what's in them AND STILL THINK I don't have enough, that's where the problem begins. I actually have to avert my gaze and look at something ugly just so I wouldn't look at those beautifully-crafted shoes. Whate's worse, the mantra "I don't need these" and "The heels are too high, I'll easily trip" aren't working anymore. It's like whenever I try a pair of shoes, it always seems to magically transform itself into something I need. I imagine the clothes I'll wear with it, when, and where. Now my mantra is "Please don't have a size 8 or 9" (and when they don't I'll act disappointed but I was really relieved)

I didn't add pictures on here because it will just cause me pain to look at pictures of pretty shoes.

Who am I kidding?!?!!?

The Shoe Sale - Final

When the cashier asked me what shoes I want, I was still thinking things through. The SALE sign was already there and I knew it was the moment. I was so torn and tired of thinking things through I considered dropping both of them and just walk away. I wasn't happy at all - which was bizarre. Other people would go gaga over the fact that they have 2 good - no, GREAT - offers. They would even probably take their time and see which shoe can give them the best deal. But not me. It was stressful and emotionally draining.

It wasn't worth it.

By Wednesday, I finally made my decision. I was nervous when I came to work that day. But it was a good kind of nervousness - like a giddy kid about to tell her parents she's graduating with honors. It's very rare I feel like that. I was excited - so I knew I made the right decision. The waiting game was finally over. Well, for me anyway. I enjoyed the 3 hours I had to let my boss wait for my decision. And when I finally told him, hehehe, the reaction I got was priceless. Not to mention that the other bosses were happy as well.

It's a different story with the other team. I'm not sure though what kind of story, but it's definitely not a happy one.

This whole experience reminded me why I bothered with this job for nearly 4 years. And now I know what I REALLY want from it. It may sound as a selfish wish for some, but in reality, it's something we all want. It's a long way ahead, but I'm willing to risk it.

And the challenges now begin.

The Shoe Sale

I came to a point in my career where I have to think of where I want to go. I love where I am right now and I'll be a customer service rep for 4 years this coming May 8. If that wasn't enough of a proof that I love my job, I don't know what will. But with everything going on with our group, there was an opportunity I wanted to try out. I didn't decide right away that I wanted to take it, so I needed a little push. It was a scary first step and I delayed it for a week, but when I finally decided to submit that form, I knew there was no backing out. I didn't expect it to move this fast though. I submitted my form on a Tuesday and had my first interview last Friday. It went very well as far as I can remember. The manager was able to lay out to me what she envisions for her team and I suddenly realized I wanted to be a part of it. The job itself, as described to me, was scary and nerve-wrecking, but all of us experience that. After the talk, I knew whatever I was looking for was with them. It may sound harsh and unfair, but I finally found what I was looking for. There was only one other time I felt that unexplainable ease and it was when I took the job in Sykes. As I mentioned before, that wasn't the job I wanted, but that female intuition I got pushed me to pursue the job offer and I never regretted it.

Deciding my next career move is like choosing what shoe I will buy. Either I buy the flats for comfort, or the pumps for statement. I can never choose both. I always find myself in a mess if I try to meet both functions half-way. It's always one or the other. I can never compromise. If I choose slippers just so the flats and the pumps won't feel bad if I chose one over the other, I end up miserable and the pumps and the flats will abandon me to be bought by someone else.



And now, I'm nearing the cashier's desk. I have the pumps on my left hand and the flats on my right. No decision yet. I still need that deciding factor and it's still not available for the regular consumer. No SALE sign up yet. I need the right constitution and state of mind or else, I'll mess up big time. And walking with the wrong pair of shoes is always a pain.

Happy birthday Lesuree!!!

Here comes another year for the voluptuous Lezlee to celebrate her birthday. Well, it's gonna be next week but she wanted to make sure that no one will have an excuse NOT to attend her party.
We rarely go out after office hours so this was a pure delight. Sisig, bangus, french fries, beer, HUGE glass of iced tea, chicken, squid, stories, and laughter ... mmmmm-hmmmm.
We had the celebration at 4XForce near Greenhills and it was a treat to see an albino boa (first time for me) and a really huge German Shepherd (something really weird happened to that dog's privates when I shook it hand ... it was friendly alright ... all for the wrong reasons).


Here is Mara and Enzo relinquishing the love they have been hiding from each other. This was one side of Mara we (or at least I) haven't seen before. She mixed her beer with her iced tea so when the alcohol kicked in, it came as a surprise to all of us. She started to get loud and really funny. Enzo was a cool guy and went along with it. What with the theories on alternative ways to use a skate board and what CJ would be like after a hypothetical one-night stand, it was safe to say Mara wrapped up the celebration with a lot of laughter in the air.


Here's us (thanks RJ for the picture). This is the "bizaarest" day ever. For a bunch of people who are always sensitive when cameras are around, NO ONE brought their cam! RJ's cam's battery was drained, CJ and Lezlee forgot to bring theirs, Harold's cellphone wouldn't do .... and Chad's blackberry was, well, let's just say it was edible more than anything else. :)



So what is my wish for Lezlee? Lord, wag na po sana syang maging manas. hehehe. Joke! Seriously. I wish she will be granted more challenges to strengthen her faith and more opportunities so she can have a fulfilling life. You will always be surrounded by people who love and care for you despite of everything else. Always be the sultry you. :)

The Road here and there

It's really hard to think straight when other people are putting stuff in your head (or emotions - it works both ways). Being in a crossroad and trying to decide whether to take one of the 4 available directions is no easy task. I'm not really famous for having back up plans, but I sure as hell don't want to take the next step without a plan either.

It was just a moment when I have to suck it up and decide on my own. Well, I actually already have, but it's the people's reactions around me that bothers me to some point. I know, I know, we're not supposed to listen to what other folks say (sometimes), but I think I have to weigh my options carefully here.

Anyway, as the winding road continues on its unrelenting power struggle with me to control my already chaotic life, I guess I'll just let things pass me by and for the winds of fates to carry me wherever they want me to go. Knowing myself I MIGHT struggle a little, but a little bit of maneuvering on my end will at least make me aware I have a brain to use once in a while.

Happy birthday Jerry and RJ

One thing I like about my team mates is our unwavering craving for food. When there's a reason, we eat! For this particular time, it was our celebration for Jerry's and RJ's birthdays. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUYS!!! MORE TO COME!!!

New Floor!

Lo and behold! This is my mom's home project... our new floor! :)... hmmm. Never thought I'd like lavender.

Drinking Water from a Straw

I had another round of my walking session - this time @ 12.21 AM. I slept the whole afternoon and woke up around 10.30 to watch Passengers (I liked the movie) and then decided I want hot dog. So I readied myself and made my way to the nearest 7-11 store - @12.21 AM. Most people will probably wait until the the sun came up, but nope, not me. I have been a creature of the night since I worked for "E" so night time is MY daytime. I dunno, when sky is dark and most people are asleep, I get to see the world in a different light. Those who are awake at this un-godly hour seem different as well. It's more - calming ...

Before I came home, I went to McDonald's and got myself a Blueberry Twist sundae and french fries. And because I want to burn at least some calories after all I've eaten, I walked around our block 5 times. And with the silence by the world around me, I realized how bizarre of a creature I am. I always get myself into situations that others would find crazy (Iranian + cab + getting late = disaster) or (sales guy + PA = heart ache). You can say I called for these things to happen to me. But somehow, how I managed them from tearing me apart interests me.

I still get all panicky and crazy when things don't go my way (who doesn't) but I'd like to think I have become better in handling stressful life situations (not the work-related ones). I still cry when I'm alone but most of the time, I just suck it up and move on. Not an easy thing to do, I tell you. For me, I want my life to be as easy as a hot knife cutting through butter. Or maybe not ... If so, I just want to be able to have a heart strong enough to bounce back any heart ache, but soft enough to accept changes and truth whole-heartedly.

Writer's Block

**Because I have a lot of thoughts in my head but find it unnecessary to write one whole blog entry for all of them, I decided to create this hodge-podge of an entry

I just came home from one of my morning walk sessions. I rarely do this anymore, but I enjoy the few short hours of just treading along the sidewalk bustling with joggers and casual walkers. I work the night shift so the world is a different place when the sun is up. I get to see the sun rise over the horizon countless times from the office window. It never ceases to amaze me how the sky changes from starry black, and then light orange, then blue.

As I was walking and listening to my Japanese music (I don't understand the lyrics, but I do appreciate the sounds - GO SCANDAL!), I was thinking of the things that concerns the now and the yet. It was amazing how I have exerted a lot of emotions on some of the stuff that happened to me. The major ones were my break-up with my 2-year boyfriend, my highschool graduation, my resignation from my teaching job, me getting hired in a call center, and being sent to the States.

Right now, I'm debating with myself on another career decision that could either make me or break me. I just had my performance review and so far, I did better (thank God). But a question lingered in my head - should I stay or not? I have established myself as a dependable and somewhat bitchy/flirty employee. I have had my own share of anguish and success, complaints and solutions, drama and comedy. Apparently, I did so well my boss wants to clone me. Now am not too sure if that's a good idea, but I am quite sure that if I see another me, I'M GOING TO DESTROY HER.

I am faced with the dilemma because I'm not even sure if it IS a dilemma. I know I can adapt and I give my best with what I was provided with. BUt the question was if I'm ready. Now how do you gauge if you're ready? When I quit my job as a teacher, I wasn't ready. I just did it without thinking. When I accepted the job in the call center, I wasn't ready. I just plunged in because I needed money. Now that I'm thinking and have a steady supply of income, I'm not sure what my reason will be for leaving my post. I think I just I'm too comfortable with where I am right now - but I can't determine if it's worth to stay or leave.

And then there's my friend I had an interesting "issue" with. We were just starting our friendship and it was a fine start, but then I had a rather uncomfortable encounter with his past. It was a surprising circumstance that totally caught me off guard. Confusion and hurt gripped me but deeper thinking told me not to hold any grudge. If this happened when I was younger, I could have wailed and cursed. But with all the heart aches I gained, I learned to listen to the other side of the story, provided they exert the effort to explain (which he did). But he is such a young soul, I have no idea what's going on in his head. I can't remember the last time I was this worried. I just pray and hope he is safe.

When I say best friend, it doesn't mean exclusivity. I just meant that this is a person who knows at least 85% of me and I trust completely. I only have 2 of these in my life - Manpreet and Karl. They have been my friends since highschool and their families are practically my second families. It helps that their houses are only a few blocks from where I live. They are my first line of comfort when I need it. No BS, no holds barred. They can sometimes forget that although I'm no girly-girly, I can still get hurt. But with almost a decade of friendship, I will choose no one else to be my best friends.

I guess I'll just wrap this up by saying, I am feminine and musculine. I love fashion but I despise high-end brands. I like going to fine restaurants but I can spend a day in my bedroom playing games. I wear a skirt but think like a guy (sometimes). Love me or hate me, your choice.

The Reason Behind the 4th RPM

I graduated Bachelor of Secondary Education majoring in English. I passed the licensure exam. I endured the 1 year of OJT, a semester in a private school and another in public. I taught for a year in my alma mater because that was my plan - to make my way up the ranks and eventually realize my motto has come true: "I want to be someone someday."

I taught sophomore Journalism and Drama and English and Junior English. It was bliss. Teaching was already in my system even before I even realized it. I wanted to strangle the kids sometimes but I loved all of them most days. Of course I cursed the paperwork and I dreaded the moments when I had to fail someone but still ... I loved it.

And then the most audacious thing happened ... I left without a back-up plan. I had nowhere to go. I was a bum for a while. I was now actually stepping out of my safe zone to actually look for a job. It wasn't easy. Those online job sites aren't as helpful as I thought they would be. I was scared as hell yet I felt relieved. Odd. For someone who said she's doing her dream job, I was actually nonchalant about leaving.

Then there's this call center. Oh wow. This was the industry I belittled for some time. PEOPLE ARE NOT MEANT TO WORK DURING THE NIGHT! Oh yeah, there was conviction in that statement. And then, just like they say about karma, it hit me in the guts. The job that I swore will never do was the only one who cradled me during the time I was lost. It was such a nostalgic feeling whenever they told me I need to go back the following day at 11PM for an interview.

Then moment of truth ... client interview. I was going to be asked by 3 Americans, over the phone, about why I was here and why this job. I couldn't think straight. I'm usually confident in this kind of situation. Oh brother. I can literally see words in the air whenever they ask me something. I just pick one word and then another, hoping I was constructing sensible sentences. The only thing I remembered was :

Client: How come you're so fluent in English?
Now, I always have one answer for this question. "I always found English easy when I was a kid." But for a bizaare twist of fate, I said:

Me: "Oh, I liked watching Sesame Street when I was a kid."

Mother of Pearl! Where the heck did that come from?! I just laughed nervously, wishing the ground would open up and send me straight to hell. But apparently, it worked. I got the job. Thus started my night life and the crazy antics I need to do just to cope with whatever was going to happen to me.

Now, I hate Math. I hate it with every fiber of my being. I know 1 + 1 = 2. But don't go asking me about the square root of some random number or else you will get seriously injured. I liked Algebra but that was it. I respect the mathematicians and scientists who does all the complicated calculations so the rest of us can have an easy life - but I would never dream of joining their ranks. Not even as a maid for a Math professor will be included in my list of hypothetical jobs. But gracious me, after spending 3 years, I realized I'm working for an engineering company. How could I have not known, I have no idea. I was trying so hard to absorb the numbers it didn't even dawn on me that I'm working with, well ... NUMBERS! And I'm in SALES!!! That's another job I didn't want to be in. Great. The 2 words I least expected to be associated with me became my bread and butter.

It's a good thing that the people I'm working with basically has the same history that I have - graduated with a non-engineering course, looking for another job, and then here we are all together.

I didn't want to be any part of their fun. I was still in denial that I was in this kind of job. They would go out for breakfasts and have jokes - I was just in my little corner, trying to figure out wht I even bothered. I guess it was a mutual feeling. I didn't exist for them too, after work hours that is. I was cool with it. I told myself and my friends that I will resign in 6 months. I kept trying to convince myself that I was better than this job. It was like when I was in the fast food business all over again. Depression and disbelief gripped me the first 3 months. I tried to let go and let things be whatever they are because, frankly, I was tired of resisting.

The 6 months came and went. The years flew by. Before I knew it, it'll be my fourth year this May 8. I had friends, I lost friends, I made enemies, I created issues, I've been served with written reprimands for my lates (hehe. 18 lates in 6 months), I did exemplary work (sometimes), I had flings (boo yeah) .... I crafted a whole new history for myself that I found lil 'ol me thankful for staying.

The road ahead is unfinished. The finish line is a distant goal. I run, I walk, I sprint, I crawl ... but still I go on. The RPM will only get faster and faster. The HP will get higher and higher. Hopefully, my constitution is sturdy enough for me not to fail. Warranty is not ensured.

Si Harold at si Chad; si Chad at si Harold

CHarold ... HaChad... no one can beat this duo when it comes to health consciousness (woooooohhhh) and funny antics (kung cute ka, mas cute sila). I used to walk with them towards the bus station on our way home and I don't need to do anything except listen and laugh. Chad will comment and Harold will just go "huh?"

This is one of the conversations I couldn't get out of my head:

Chad (points to a lean-looking guy crossing the street): Harold, gusto mo maging kasing katawan kayo nung lalake?
Harold: OO! OO! Sige!
Chad: Pero ....
Harold: Pero?
Chad: Kasing boses mo si Mahal. BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Or this one ....

Harold: Kaya dapat, look after tayo dun sa kinakain natin. Sayang ang gym
Nina: Oo nga
Chad: Oo ... kelangan na natin mag-shred ng weight.
(Silence)
Chad: Shred ba o shed?
Nina: Di na nga pinansin eh! Comment ka pa din!

Or ...

Harold: Centipede
Chad: Centripede
Harold: Ano?!
Chad: Centripede!
Harold: hahahaha

Merong 2 lalaki sa may opisina, kwela silang kasama, patawa yung isa, figure conscious naman yung pangalawa, pero nakukumpleto nila ang araw ng circle of friends nila.
Yung isa negosyante, yung isa mukha lang negosyante, yung isa mukhang celebrity, yung isa mukha lang side kick, pero can't live without each other yan. I love you pare, ika nga.
Mahilig sya sa chicken and spag, pusa naman trip nung isa, lobo at clowns ang specialty ni C, failure sa stress management naman kay H.

I have a crush on these 2 men. It's not the gooey-eye, heart racing kind of crush (that's reserved for Marc Nelson). It's the type that just adores them for who they are. They are the perfect combination of comedy and wits. No one can match the comedic sarcasm of Chad and the charismatic youthfulness of Harold. (I can hear thunder and lightning from a distance)

This blog entry is just a dedication for the 2 rascals who managed to weave through people's lives without much effort. Hindi man kami mukhang Shivaker, hindi man kami marunong mag dogstyle ng balloon (doggie style?), kudos kay ChaRold ... Kampai!