The Reason Behind the 4th RPM

I graduated Bachelor of Secondary Education majoring in English. I passed the licensure exam. I endured the 1 year of OJT, a semester in a private school and another in public. I taught for a year in my alma mater because that was my plan - to make my way up the ranks and eventually realize my motto has come true: "I want to be someone someday."

I taught sophomore Journalism and Drama and English and Junior English. It was bliss. Teaching was already in my system even before I even realized it. I wanted to strangle the kids sometimes but I loved all of them most days. Of course I cursed the paperwork and I dreaded the moments when I had to fail someone but still ... I loved it.

And then the most audacious thing happened ... I left without a back-up plan. I had nowhere to go. I was a bum for a while. I was now actually stepping out of my safe zone to actually look for a job. It wasn't easy. Those online job sites aren't as helpful as I thought they would be. I was scared as hell yet I felt relieved. Odd. For someone who said she's doing her dream job, I was actually nonchalant about leaving.

Then there's this call center. Oh wow. This was the industry I belittled for some time. PEOPLE ARE NOT MEANT TO WORK DURING THE NIGHT! Oh yeah, there was conviction in that statement. And then, just like they say about karma, it hit me in the guts. The job that I swore will never do was the only one who cradled me during the time I was lost. It was such a nostalgic feeling whenever they told me I need to go back the following day at 11PM for an interview.

Then moment of truth ... client interview. I was going to be asked by 3 Americans, over the phone, about why I was here and why this job. I couldn't think straight. I'm usually confident in this kind of situation. Oh brother. I can literally see words in the air whenever they ask me something. I just pick one word and then another, hoping I was constructing sensible sentences. The only thing I remembered was :

Client: How come you're so fluent in English?
Now, I always have one answer for this question. "I always found English easy when I was a kid." But for a bizaare twist of fate, I said:

Me: "Oh, I liked watching Sesame Street when I was a kid."

Mother of Pearl! Where the heck did that come from?! I just laughed nervously, wishing the ground would open up and send me straight to hell. But apparently, it worked. I got the job. Thus started my night life and the crazy antics I need to do just to cope with whatever was going to happen to me.

Now, I hate Math. I hate it with every fiber of my being. I know 1 + 1 = 2. But don't go asking me about the square root of some random number or else you will get seriously injured. I liked Algebra but that was it. I respect the mathematicians and scientists who does all the complicated calculations so the rest of us can have an easy life - but I would never dream of joining their ranks. Not even as a maid for a Math professor will be included in my list of hypothetical jobs. But gracious me, after spending 3 years, I realized I'm working for an engineering company. How could I have not known, I have no idea. I was trying so hard to absorb the numbers it didn't even dawn on me that I'm working with, well ... NUMBERS! And I'm in SALES!!! That's another job I didn't want to be in. Great. The 2 words I least expected to be associated with me became my bread and butter.

It's a good thing that the people I'm working with basically has the same history that I have - graduated with a non-engineering course, looking for another job, and then here we are all together.

I didn't want to be any part of their fun. I was still in denial that I was in this kind of job. They would go out for breakfasts and have jokes - I was just in my little corner, trying to figure out wht I even bothered. I guess it was a mutual feeling. I didn't exist for them too, after work hours that is. I was cool with it. I told myself and my friends that I will resign in 6 months. I kept trying to convince myself that I was better than this job. It was like when I was in the fast food business all over again. Depression and disbelief gripped me the first 3 months. I tried to let go and let things be whatever they are because, frankly, I was tired of resisting.

The 6 months came and went. The years flew by. Before I knew it, it'll be my fourth year this May 8. I had friends, I lost friends, I made enemies, I created issues, I've been served with written reprimands for my lates (hehe. 18 lates in 6 months), I did exemplary work (sometimes), I had flings (boo yeah) .... I crafted a whole new history for myself that I found lil 'ol me thankful for staying.

The road ahead is unfinished. The finish line is a distant goal. I run, I walk, I sprint, I crawl ... but still I go on. The RPM will only get faster and faster. The HP will get higher and higher. Hopefully, my constitution is sturdy enough for me not to fail. Warranty is not ensured.